Tis the season for being blind!

Let me begin by saying there is no shame in being single. In fact it’s a time in ones life where one is footloose and fancy free! Kicking and frolicking around like a lamb in spring – doing that funny leap thing they do. Yes, it may resemble a spasm or tick, but for the purposes of this article, we are now immersing ourselves in the sounds of; rushing rivers, sweet songbirds and the bleating of bar bar Blackface (yep, that really is the name of a breed – I kid you not)! So we have established how wonderful it should be being a singleton, however I appreciate that it’s not only the weather that can be a little harsh in this season. All around is the stink of coupledom – gifts for him, surprise her with…

“No, just one ticket for the Winter Wonderland big wheel please.”

Why is it that that single sentence not only doesn’t sound right, it feels like an abomination!

“One seat?”

Cue earthquake, tsunami, hurricane, fire hail from the heavens!  Why is it that this time of year in particular, being single seems to have a rather venomous sting in its tail? Perhaps it’s the Bridget Jones theory of yet another year has passed, only to arrive at your parents home at exactly the same point you left it last year, flying solo! Or maybe it’s the simple and selfish fact that there is at least one more gift in it for you? Personally, I think it’s down to a basic physiological desire. The overwhelming urge, neigh, base need and I hasten to add normal function, of what makes us human. What am I talking about? You guessed it, being warm (why what were you thinking?). Going Christmas shopping arms linked or at least hand in hand = warm. Overpriced festive amusement park rides cuddled together in the seats  = warm.

Now that I have you seated comfortably and relaxed… do you lower your standards to achieve the above? In the words of Joseph, “any dream will do.” Bam! In for the jugular. Okay okay! I’m not saying that this is a global pandemic but I have to admit, I might have observed a few fellas that I may not have given a second glance to, when enjoying warm rays beating down on my back, in the summer month(s). That said, one is painfully aware that New Year’s eve is fast approaching, and a repeat of last year’s sloppy bristly wet one from prevy cousin Pat (who really isn’t a relative at all), can not happen again. Nor is the prospect of being grabbed at midnight, by a random who’s been drinking since midday, appealing either.

As we are all in agreement that 1. somethings should never happen (see above) and 2. will NEVER happen again (also see above) here are some things to remember when looking to move from being a singleton to coupledom. Know what you what within a relationship and what value you bring to an “us”. Never pass up an opportunity to socialise in new circles. Standards are not the same as ideals (give up on the Brangelina lookalike.) Think of a first date as just another fun outing with a friend. However above all of this, never never forget “cousin” Pat’s puckered pout and always keep this mathematic formula to love in mind; the longer you wait for “the one” the higher the percent of you being found alone and half eaten by your twelve cats.


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